


Pique

by Tsula



Category: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Cuddle fluff, F/M, Fluff, Misunderstandings, Raph is a big sweetie, Romance, Violence, fight
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-02
Updated: 2016-10-02
Packaged: 2018-08-19 03:17:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8187502
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tsula/pseuds/Tsula
Summary: “Just go home, Raphael.” It was humiliating enough that he was the one to save you, but utterly mortifying that he’d seen your tears.  
“Look!” He turned quickly and you backed away on impulse even with nowhere left to go. It was more like a flinch against the stone wall at your back. A strange look crossed his face for a moment—an expression of pain. As though your instinctual fear had physically hurt him. “It—! It wasn’t you I was even mad at!” He looked away and ran a hand heavily down his face. “Leo just gets me so pissed—!” He grit his teeth to hold back the anger and let out a shaky sigh. “That’s no excuse for snapping at you though. I was just—! I nearly—!” His head dropped and his shoulders sank. He looked absolutely miserable. “I’m sorry.”





	

**Author's Note:**

> My inner critic has been keeping me from posting this (and other things) for awhile now… always with the “it could be better” line that makes me second guess myself until I just give up and tuck the story away for later.
> 
> So I finally just gave her a nice mental kick to the face and posted anyway. 
> 
> Enjoy!

Siblings fight. They argue, bicker, and disagree if only just for the sake of being on opposite sides. It’s a time honored tradition among brothers and sisters to get on each others nerves. So that your favorite brand of brothers were no exception was expected. They griped about one another’s habits, argued over silly things, and generally got on each other’s nerves just as all families are want to do. Yet the love between them had always been apparent. Even at the height of their arguments you didn't doubt their bond. 

That was true even of the most volatile pair. 

Leo and Raph rarely got along, because they rarely agreed on anything. Their personalities clashed something fierce, especially since Leonardo was the designated leader and Raphael was not the type of guy to be bossed around. This led to a lot of arguments and occasional scuffles, but everyone was used to this sort of thing. Yourself included. In fact the rest of you usually made something of a game of their arguments, with whispered, silly commentary or bets on how long before the next row. 

It was normal. Expected.

This time though was anything but.

You’d never seen them so angry, so pitted against one another that it transcended arguing, or the occasional scuffle into a knock down, drag out fight. The two of them were so wound up, so furious, that it no longer was something that could just be ignored. They were going at each other like a pair of wild dogs and with their skills that was down right dangerous. 

The clash of metal on metal seemed impossibly loud as you watched them fight. A helpless bystander alone to their rage. Donnie and Mikey were out getting dinner and Master Splinter was nowhere the be seen. He must have been somewhere beyond the noise or either he couldn’t tell at a distance that they were fighting in earnest. There was no one around to stop them. No one but you. One small, relatively weak human in the middle of a fight between giants. You had never felt more useless than you did standing there all but screaming for the boys to stop. 

If they heard you at all over the sounds of their scuffle, they ignored you completely. 

The two titans clashed over and over again. Each strike sounded more terrifying and dangerous than the last. Metal on metal. One dangerous weapon in skilled, angry hands against another. Every hit drowning out your pleading voice entirely until they came to a standstill with Leo’s katana blocked just inches from Raph’s chest. 

They looked so angry, so beyond reason as they tried to overpower one another. 

“Please—” you tried to interject before they could drown you out again, but the standstill was quickly broken. Their weapons were flung out into the darkness in their struggle and they both staggered and leapt away. It didn’t even seem to matter that their weapons were out of reach. They looked ready to barrel in bare fisted. 

“Stop it!!” You shrieked in fear as the ground cracked under their feet when they dug in and got ready to charge.   
They weren’t listening to you! It didn’t even seem like they heard you at all. 

All too soon they were rushing back into the fray, their fists ready to inflict damage and you did the only thing that came to mind—foolish as it may have been. 

You put yourself between them. 

It was all you had left. They weren’t paying you the slightest bit of mind as you begged and screamed for them to stop. You didn’t know if they would even stop with you in their way. The thought didn’t make you back down though. You shut your eyes and held your hands up to each of them, as if that would do anything to stop someone their size. 

Would they even notice you? A small, easily crushed obstacle between them and the object of their rage… 

It didn’t seem possible they could stop in time even if they did. They were going to crush you. Break you apart just to get at each other over a fight you knew nothing about. 

There came a shout, a bellow of rage, and you braced for the pain that would come after. 

Only what you got sounded more like two, almost synchronized explosions. You almost didn’t want to open your eyes and see the damage, but the fact that you were still breathing gave you some amount of courage. 

Better yet that you were still standing and felt no pain. 

You peaked open one eye and then the other, glancing around in shock and awe at the damage they'd done. 

They had both deflected to hit the wall instead and the wall had crumbled like it really had exploded. 

Your heart was racing just as fast as the fear that pumped through your veins. There was so much anger behind those fists of theirs that they could have really hurt each other— ** _or killed you_**. 

The thought was sobering and made it feel like a bucket of ice had been dropped right into your stomach. 

The two of them stood up slowly still glaring dangerously at one another as Mikey and Donnie hurried over frantically. Apparently they’d gotten back just in time for the climatic end. 

“Are you okay!?” Mikey belted out as he slid over to check on you while Donnie turned on the other brothers. 

“What were you two thinking?!” He sounded absolutely furious and that was not a normal tone for Donatello. The scolding was spot on, but it was corrupted by a tinge of rage. 

“Us!?” Raphael shouted viciously. “What about her?” The way he looked at you was enough to make the fear stronger than the anger. He looked terrifyingly dangerous. You were used to his angry outbursts, but this… This was something deeper. Something worse. “You could have been killed, you idiot!” 

“Don’t talk to her like that!” Donnie shouted right back at him, not the least bit deterred by his brother’s fury. 

”Yeah!” Mikey chimed in as he moved to shield you from Raphael. 

“He’s right though.” Leonardo agreed and at least the way he looked at you was more scolding than furious, though only slightly. “What was going through that head of yours jumping in the way like that? We could have killed you.” 

“What was going through it?” You hissed out surprising them somehow even more than you surprised yourself. The fear had been dominating your thoughts up until that moment, but suddenly the anger you hadn’t even noticed broke free. Suddenly you didn’t care that they were so much larger and dangerous than you were. All that mattered was that you get through to them and anger seemed the only way. “How about the fact that you two were trying to kill each other over some stupid argument?!” There was so much fury in your tone that all four of the boys took a step back. “You two were going at it like a couple low life, street thugs! You are family and you are ninjas: you’re acting like neither! So what the hell was going on in **_your_** heads that could justify acting like that!? ” 

That seemed to stump them and knocked the angry looks right off their faces. It would have been a good time to really make them listen, to make them understand how foolish they’d been, but you were losing your grip on the anger. You could feel something worse clenched around your heart as your chest heaved and your eyes burned.

You had to turn away from them quickly and you hoped they saw anger rather than despair. It was all you could do not to let them see what you were really feeling. You certainly didn’t want to start crying in front of them. Especially not the one who’d managed to hurt you the most. 

“Where are you going?” Raphael demanded as you stomped off, hoping to get out of there before you lost control. You barely had the presence of mind to grab your bag. 

“Home!” At least you still sounded just as angry as before. 

“It’s dark out!” Leonardo replied quickly with a tone that was still authoritative, though much kinder than before. “You shouldn’t go alone!” 

You didn’t have a decent reply for him and instead acted as though you hadn’t heard him. He certainly hadn’t had a problem doing that to you. 

Even when you were out of the room you tried to keep your expression neutral. Donnie had cameras all over the place and your tough act wouldn’t do much good if they caught your distress on tape. You just had to hold on and keep the pain locked away as long as you could. 

*** 

The boys watched you leave with varying degrees of anger, worry, and shame. You’d never actually stormed out on them like that and it was made worse by the fact that it was so late and on the tail end of such a terrifying near miss. It didn’t escape any of them that you could have been seriously injured, or worse, and just how upset you must have been to rush off like that without letting any of them see you off. 

Without fail they _always_ walked you home. Even during the day—not that they actually told you that part. Technically they were supposed to stay inside while the sun was up; but New York wasn’t exactly the safest place in the world even in broad daylight and you were important to them. They couldn’t stand the idea of anything happening to you. 

Hence why Leonardo was already barking orders for the group to track you down and make sure you got home safely. Even if they had to do it from a distance, they weren’t about to just sit around hoping that nothing happened. 

However, not everyone was quite so willing to just go along with it. 

“I’m not going after her!” Raphael seethed. It infuriated him that his brother was already back to giving him orders. It wasn’t even going after you that actually bothered him—hell, he was already planning on it— just that Leo had _commanded_ them to do it. 

“It’s night and it’s dangerous.” Leonardo stated fiercely. “We’re going after her. If you don’t care about her, then fine: stay here!” 

Raphael bristled at the comment, but he didn’t much like the idea of caving and taking orders from ‘Mr. Leader’. 

He’d much rather find you himself. He didn’t need his damn brothers. Least of all Leo. 

*** 

It was hard to get a handle on your feelings once they broke free. You kept your arms wrapped around yourself for some semblance of comfort as you walked and cried and hated yourself for being so upset. 

It was one thing to cry out of fear, especially given how close you'd come to dying; but that had come and gone before the dam broke. Instead. you were crying over the way he treated you and it was so… _useless_! What good did it do to let his anger get under your skin like that? To let the way he looked at you, the way he spoke to you, shatter your heart the way it did?

Maybe it hit you so hard because you’d never really experienced his anger before. You’d always been more or less sheltered from his rage. Either because of someone being there to buffer it or simply because he seemed calmer with you near by. 

Not this time though.

This time you got to see him well and truly enraged and he’d turned that anger onto you for getting in his way. 

It hurt like hell too. Worse than any physical pain you’d ever felt. 

Your surroundings didn’t matter much more than your destination did. It wasn’t home that you were really headed for so much as just _away_. Somewhere were you could hide your shameful tears and find some sort of comfort in the face of this pain. It didn't really matter just where that was. 

Someone caught you suddenly by the arm and all you could see was Raphael’s angry face. The look of utter rage that turned him into something monstrous. You knew that they’d be coming to make sure you made it home, but honestly you didn’t think it’d happen so fast. You weren’t ready to face any of them yet. There were still tears streaming down your cheeks and you had no way to hide this fact.

Yet when you turned on the person who’d pulled you into the alley, you realized very quickly that it was actually _worse_. 

They flung you onto the wet ground before you could glimpse more than a pair of dark eyes gleaming in the shadows and a figure much too small to belong to the turtles. 

Still larger than you were though. 

Your instincts kicked in to overpower the shock and confusion. The fear hadn't had a chance to have its say yet. You looked up from your hands and knees at the large, shadowy figure standing between you and the sidewalk. A rush of observations flooded in as they moved closer. 

A dark, narrow alley with just you and the man blocking the only viable exit. A man that was too large for you to like your chances in a fight, but he was already surging forward as you struggled to your feet. 

Adrenaline made your heart race, your limbs shake, and your vision blur a little at the edges. You'd never been in a fight before, but you were about to try your luck at it apparently. 

You were on your feet when there hands came shooting out towards you like a pair of snakes going in for the kill. Whether their intent was to grab you again or to strike, you couldn’t tell, and you never found out. 

Something large and snarling barreled into them, knocking your assailant into the wall with bone cracking force… And they didn’t stop there. 

You knew who it was too. Just from the rage alone. The aura of crushing anger that seemed to fill the entire alley as he defended you against your attacker. 

He was ripping them apart. He seemed somehow even more angry than before and the thought made you highly consider running the rest of the way home. Though this could serve to make him angrier and he knew where you lived. It wasn’t like a bolted door would do much good against him. 

The best you could do was back away until you were pressed against the far wall, shrouded by a dingy yellow light that filtered out from someone’s window. 

The fight, if it could even be called that, didn’t last very long. Not long enough to gather your wits or wipe your face at any rate. And certainly not long enough to brace yourself before he turned to look your way. 

His whole body seemed to be trembling as he moved away from the unconscious lump that was your attacker. Hell, maybe he’d even killed him. You certainly couldn’t tell from where you were standing. 

He turned slower than you expected and you could tell the very moment he noticed your tears. He was already breathing heavily from exertion and anger, yet when he saw you suddenly the sound was _sharp_. Suddenly he couldn’t seem to look at you. It wasn’t what you’d expected so far as reactions went. Him being uncomfortable was a far cry from what you’d imagined. You were banking on his anger. Or worse.

The thought that he was somehow disappointed filtered into your thoughts and made you feel even worse. It shouldn’t have. It should have made you angry if anything, but it just made you want to start crying again. 

“Just go home, Raphael.” It was humiliating enough that he was the one to save you, but utterly mortifying that he’d seen your tears. 

“Look!” He turned quickly and you backed away on impulse even with nowhere left to go. It was more like a flinch against the stone wall at your back. A strange look crossed his face for a moment—an expression of pain. As though your instinctual fear had physically hurt him. “It—! It wasn’t you I was even mad at!” He looked away and ran a hand heavily down his face. “Leo just gets me so pissed—!” He grit his teeth to hold back the anger and let out a shaky sigh. “That’s no excuse for snapping at you though. I was just—! _I nearly_ —!” His head dropped and his shoulders sank. He looked absolutely miserable. “ _I’m sorry._ ” 

His tone was the finishing touch that made him seem completely defeated. Something that not even the deadliest of enemies had achieved. It made you feel sick that you were able to cause such a thing. Seeing him like that was heartbreaking. It was far worse than the fear, the anger, and the sadness he’d put you through already. 

You realized he was blaming himself for what could have happened. He’d nearly hurt you. Possibly could have even killed you. This fact seemed to affect him more strongly than it had you. 

You stepped forward slowly and he made no move to even look up. Though he was much larger than you were, he seemed somehow small and vulnerable. It struck you in that moment that he was completely in the palm of your hands. You could have raked him over the coals and he would have taken it, because he felt deserving of it. Yet causing him more pain was far from what you wanted. Rather, you wanted to remedy it instead. The moment you were close enough you leaned up to touch him. He flinched a little at having your fingers brush against his cheek, but his tenseness faded slightly when he looked down and saw the soft smile on your lips. 

“I forgive you.” Your statement seemed to take him by surprise before the relief set in and his shoulders dropped. 

He smiled a little in return, reaching up to cover your tiny hand with his much larger one. 

"I know my temper gets the best of me," he murmurer, pulling your hand to his lips with trembling fingers. "But I swear," his eyes were large and pleading as he looked at you. "I would **never** hurt you." 

You didn’t know what to do with yourself in the face of such a declaration. Raph had always been kind to you up until the fight, but he’d never outright said anything like _that_. It was such an open and caring declaration. 

“Aw~ he’s being so sweet!” A familiar voice made you both flinch in surprise. 

There was a brief flash of something that looked like horror, before Raphael turned and leveled a fierce scowl up at his brothers. The three of them were perched three stories up on the fire escape. They all looked a little pleased, though none so much as Michelangelo. 

You felt a little bad for Raphael though. Here he was opening up to you and his brothers ended up witnessing enough to embarrass the tee-total crap out of him. Rather than yelling at them though, as you actually expected, Raphael started leading you down the alley. 

"Aren't ya gonna kiss her?" Mikey called after you both and Raph growled something under his breath in response though he didn't stop or look back. 

"He probably wants privacy for that." Leo chuckled and suddenly Raph scooped you right up to get out of there faster. 

Probably wanting to avoid further temptation to punch his brothers in the face. 

***

Raphael did not put you down until he was perched on the fire escape outside your window. You weren’t sure if it was out of distraction, the fact that it was faster that way, or simply because he liked you there. Either way, you weren’t about to address it. There wasn’t a doubt in your mind that it would embarrass the hell out of him and he’d certainly had enough of that for one evening. 

So, instead you opened up the window and looked back at him with a soft smile. “Wanna come in?” 

He seemed briefly stunned by your offer and even a little flustered. “S-sure. Better than dealing with those lunkheads.” 

You chuckled a little at the statement and moved so that he could follow you in. He seemed a little unsure of what to do with himself. Which was more than a little odd coming from someone so generally self-assured. Odd, but very cute. 

“I’m gonna go change,” you gestured back to your room already hurrying in that direction to get out of your wet clothes and he nodded looking flustered and distracted. 

Which could have easily been, at least in part, due to the fact that your clothes were nearly indecent with the way they hugged your curves. Add that to the fact that you were both alone in your home and it was easy to see how Mr. Tough and Confident might be a little nervous. Especially with the openness of his previous declaration. 

It wasn’t exactly an ‘I love you’, but coming from him it was pretty damn close. A thought that made you a little anxious and clumsy as you freshened up. Especially when you started thinking about him actually _saying_ it. 

When you rejoined Raph in the living room, he’d seated himself on the couch and looked about as relaxed as a statue. It was with a deep breath to help abate the fluttering in your stomach that you tentatively joined him. 

He took up most of the couch all on his own, but you couldn’t say that you minded. It gave you a good excuse for closeness, though he flinched a little when your arm touched his; but he seemed to regain his courage quickly enough. Perhaps in part because you didn’t appear to mind the contact. You didn’t flinch or shy away and in fact sent him a small, encouraging smile that seemed to soothe his nerves. 

His hand curled around your shoulder loosely at first, to give you a chance to pull away, and when you made no sign of resistance he pulled you into his arms. 

You rearranged a little to lean into him, curling your legs up and turning to wrap your arms around his chest so that you were surrounded in his embrace. 

His relief was almost tangible in the way you felt him unwind. As though years of tension were melting away beneath your touch. 

That you could cause such a reaction in him was about the sweetest sense of empowerment you’d ever felt. You smiled and nuzzled closer, relishing how he held you just a little tighter in response. 

***

For a long time the two of you stayed just like that, curled together on the couch without a word or a care. For Raph, it was like a sanctuary from everything that caused him grief or made him want to shove his fist through a wall. Your closeness and forgiveness helping to soothe him in ways nothing else ever had. He really hadn’t expected you to forgive him at all and wouldn’t have blamed you if you hadn’t. 

Yet you did. After he’d nearly killed you, snapped at you, and even apparently made you _fear_ him—a shame he doubted he’d ever be rid of—you forgave him. You smiled at him in that soft, sweet way that made him feel like someone special. You’d invited him into your home and curled into his embrace as if it were the most welcome thing in the world.

It certainly was to him. 

He liked how you fit in his arms. So small and warm… He had the almost irresistible urge to nuzzle his face into your hair. The softness of your skin and the smell of your hair made him feel ecstatic and content. It tore away at his anger until he could hardly remember what he’d been so worked up over in the first place. 

The longer he stayed there with you the calmer he felt and he hoped you’d let him do this again. Often in fact. He could stay like this for days and still wouldn't want to move. Because holding you made him feel… _Better_.


End file.
